The past few weeks have been a bit of a blur and filled with heartache.

However, Spring has sprung in South Carolina, and in the midst of my husband losing family from the disaster in Japan, everything is put back into perspective to include how amazing and loving our God truly is.

I went for a walk yesterday evening with Rider and I looked around at all the trees and bushes covered in pink, fucsia and white blossoms and I smiled to think that if at any other time of the year this event had taken place, I would not be blessed with the sweet aroma of wisteria and cherry blossoms to bring me cheer.

Yes, He is truly amazing. He didn’t just send me a bouquet of flowers…he covered all of Columbia, South Carolina in “bouquets”.

He is your praise and He is your God, who has done these great and awesome things for you which your eyes have seen. - Deuteronomy 10:21

I brought the outside in to gaze upon the petals of a dogwood bloom...

Project Wuha

I have another blog/website:
http://projectwuha.com/

You can follow me there for updates on my pending trip back to Ethiopia in a few months. My sister-in-law, Lauren, will be traveling with me and we have much to do before we get there. We are only into the new year a few weeks and the list of things to do is growing, but in a good way.

Won't you join me on my adventure?

Distractions

I receive (on average) three magazines in the mail every day. They range from children clothing magazines (why?), Victoria's Secret (why?), Pottery Barn, Crate & Barrel, woodworking, art supplies, and the list goes on. 90% of them are never opened and flipped through but, instead, are immediately placed in the bright blue recycling container on my back porch.

I find it sad to think of all that went into making the magazine(s) (money, supplies, time and labor, etc) and that it never lived up to its true potential: to distract me into thinking that I "need to have this and this and this and this..."

I am having a difficult time with distractions lately. Instead of praying, I get lost in thinking what I need to get done for the day. Instead of researching ways to help raise money for Ethiopia, I think of other organizations that are working on sustainable aid and gaze through their websites. Instead of winding down for the day with a project I am working on (lately it's been embroidery), I turn on a movie.

Distractions are a test, a way of practicing discernment. Therefore, if this is a test, I have failed, but I'm still able to retake the test (yes!) and (hopefully) pass with flying colors. When I find my heart and thoughts not at rest or peace, I know it is time to do a self-check and ask God to give me his heart and for his will to be done in my life day-by-day.

Today is Thanksgiving and I don't want (or need) any other distractions but I just need to enjoy the moments here and now with my family. This is why we all love this day so much - no distractions. It's just a time for us to be with family and friends communing with one another with a feast - simple and straightforward, just as our lives should be...with no distractions.

No distractions here
Minnesota - Summer 2010

What are distractions in your life? Can you throw them out like the countless magazines that litter your mailbox?

I am your servant; give me discernment.

Psalm 119:125

Would Someone Please Pass Me Some More God?

We are two days away from Thanksgiving. Even if I didn't know this fact I would have caught on while shopping in the grocery store today and watching the mass of people at the deli counter waiting for their turkeys and stocking up on canned pumpkin and cranberries.

It is amazing to think of all this food that will be sitting on tables waiting to be devoured and then stuffed into tupperware (usually to never be opened again until they are growing penicillin and opened months later because there is a dire need for more tupperware). I couldn't help but think about the word "Thanksgiving" as I strolled up and down the grocery store aisles. I didn't feel very "thankful" today, but instead I felt "distracted". Distracted by the to-do list; buy groceries, clean house, run errands, etc. Don't get me wrong, I understand these things need to get done eventually, but even if I didn't have the turkey, the cranberries, the pumpkin pie, would it still feel like "Thanksgiving?"

I decided to look up the definition of Thanksgiving so I went to dictionary.com and typed in 't-h-a-n-k-s-g-i-v-i-n-g' and I wanted to share this with you:

thanks-giv-ing:

–noun

1. the act of giving thanks; grateful acknowledgment of benefits or favors, esp. to god.

2. an expression of thanks, esp. to God.

3. a public celebration in acknowledgment of divine favor or kindness.

4. a day set apart for giving thanks to God.

5. ( initial capital letter ) Thanksgiving Day.

I am intrigued and love the portions of the definition that state "especially to God". 

To state what I am thankful for only comes from God for he is everything good and holy, so I'll give credit to the one who deserves it all. My relationship with God has been strengthened these past few months of uncertainty with my career (or lack there of) and travel back to Ethiopia, but in my weakness he gave me his strength and has peeled back layer after layer of my old self to reveal himself through me. The words fail me for he is that great and that good! 

4. A day set apart for giving thanks to God.

I don't want there to be just one day of giving thanks to God. Maybe one day where I stuff myself full of turkey and pie, but of praising my God? Never. I would love to hear someone say, "Pass" on the jello pudding this year and instead ask, "Could someone please pass me some more God? I can't get enough!" haha

I'm thankful that I won't be having jello for Thanksgiving!

Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with
praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name.
For the Lord is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations.

Psalm 100:4-5

Friday Favorites

Happy Friday!!!

Friday has been a day that has always made me giddy. Even when I had to work on Saturday, Friday still seemed like a perfect day. There is an energy to this day; the excitement for what the weekend holds is in the air.

A few weekends ago Matt put this song on repeat and it could be heard throughout our house blaring from the small computer speakers in our office. It's one of my favorite songs and I even love it more after watching the video.

Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros "Home" from Edward Sharpe on Vimeo.

Today, I caught myself whistling this song as I cleaned the dirty dishes from yesterday evening's dinner which included homemade everything: (click on links for recipes)
BBQ pulled pork sandwiches
Coleslaw
Applesauce
* Please note that I made the applesauce on the stove top *

Unfortunately, I hate the lighting in my kitchen at night so I didn't take any photos, but Matt said it was "delicious" and he couldn't keep his nose out of the sauce pan as I was cooking the apples and since he is my one-and-only critic, I'll take that as a compliment.

I don't think I'll be making dinner tonight. I got four shots/immunizations today for my upcoming trip back to Ethiopia and I can hardly move my arms. I'm a wimp. I'm not scared to admit it. The new Harry Potter movie comes out so I'm thinking "why not grab a burger from a local pub and sit and eat some greasy popcorn afterward?" Fridays really are the best day of the week. I hope you find something that is your "favorite" of the day, after all it is Friday!

The Simplehearted

Sim*ple-heart*ed {sim-puhl-hahr-tid}
adjective
free of deceit; artless; sincere.

The Lord protects the simplehearted; when I was in great need, he saved me.

Psalm 116:6

I am thankful for my God. I am thankful that he has never left me nor forsaken me. I feel like I can breathe again. I can laugh once more. I have joy.

When I started to pray and seek God's heart, he spoke to mine. I felt him telling me to rest. What a joyful rest!

He has opened my eyes and breathed new life into me once again. My joy is from within and he has allowed me to smile and enjoy the simple things in life; the uncomplicated beauty that he wants for me/us. I find great pleasure in seeking his world as He sees it:

- life-giving relationships

- Laughter

- Beauty in the sounds of birds

- Beauty in the gray sky morning

- Whole foods

- The love for the handmade

- All of these things should be centered around people and relationships

In the spirit of the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday, I find myself to be thankful for Him. Thankful for Him giving me great peace and rest - a state of unthreatened well-being. Thankful for making me simplehearted once more. 

How can I repay Him? How can I thank the Lord for his goodness?

I can only offer my desire to please him in my actions and in my words. 

What are you thankful for this season?

 

May I find joy in all things "simple"

The psalm of David captures in words what I cannot express:

Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.

For you, O Lord, have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before the Lord in the land of the living. I believed; therefore I said, I am greatly afllicted. And in my dismay I said, 'All men are liars.' 

How can I repay the Lord for all his goodness to me? I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the Lord.

I will fulfill my vows to the Lord in the presence of all his people.

Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints. O Lord, truly I am your servant; I am your servant, the son of your maidservant, you have freed me from my chains.

I will sacrifice a thank offering to you and call on the name of the Lord. I will full my vows to the Lord in the presence of all his people. In the courts of the house of the Lord - in your midst, O Jerusalem.

Praise the Lord.

Psalm 116:7-19

Do I Hear Drums?

OK Go - This Too Shall Pass from OK Go on Vimeo.

When the morning comes

Let it go, this too shall pass

This song is dedicated to my Matty K. It's silly, I know, but I am dedicating it to him for two reasons:

1) He loves a good drum line - No, I mean he seriously gets excited when two drum lines go head-to-head in a good competition

2) He's (we) faced with some pretty heavy decisions about what to do in the next 6 months and this decision will need to be made in the upcoming weeks. This decision will impact us both and I know he is confused so this song is only a word of encouragement - Let it go, this too shall pass.

I don't want to get into details here, but these decisions involve one of three options: 1) Moving to another state 2) Staying here and in the current position he's in for one more year 3) Get out of the military and join the reserves

So, with that, I ask for your prayers. I ask that you pray that we continue to trust God with pointing us in the right direction and that we follow what we know is right vs. just our feelings.

Feelings have too many thoughts involved. I'm not saying that feelings are wrong, but thinking things "to death" can lead to confusion and ultimately we will have no peace. I have been reading a few excerpts from the book Our Thoughts Determine Our Lives with the teachings of Elder Thaddeus of Vitovnica and here are a few quotes that I would like to share with you:

"Our life depends on the kind of thoughts we nurture. if our thoughts are peaceful, calm, meek, and kind, then that is what our life is like. If our attention is turned to the circumstances in which we live, we are drawn into a whirlpool of thoughts and can have neither peace nor tranquility."

In the meantime, watch the video by OK Go for a nice chuckle and a reminder that all of life's difficult decisions and circumstances will pass. But while I wait for them to pass, I will lean on the One who will give Matty K and me all the positive thoughts we will need until "the morning comes..."

Hallelujah for Indian Summers

It's been a beautiful fall this year - a perfect Indian Summer. I haven't seen a cloud in the sky for over three days. It's chilly in the morning with temperatures in the 30's, but during the day the temperature doubles. I have always enjoyed Jeff Buckley and a few years ago, Matty K told me that it was his favorite song so I listened to it this morning and it was the perfect backdrop to my morning cup of coffee where I watched the sunlight drip in through my blinds. The wind made the leaves sway in the wind and made the sunlight look like it was dancing on my wood floors to the tune of Jeff Buckley's Hallelujah.

Indian Summers are like candy to me. A little unexpected treat for us to enjoy. When fall comes upon me, I can't decide if I long for the warmth of summer or for the coziness of fall, but then an Indian Summer comes along and it's like "oh, this is exactly what I wanted". 

Matty K was off yesterday and we made our usual breakfast together and we got to talking about crepes. Matty tasted his first crepe just a few weeks ago and I couldn't get over it. Crepes are delicious and so I went to my favorite food blog and looked up a recipe for crepes and I came upon this yummy recipe made in a beautiful space. 

Image: Sparkling Ink

I plan on making a treat of crepes for Matty K and I to enjoy this evening. Unfortunately, they will be made inside, but we will sit on the porch and eat them while enjoying this fiery red tree in our yard. 

Hello!

Psalm 108:

My heart is steadfast, O God: 

I will sing and make music with all my soul. 

Awake, harp and lyre!

I will awaken the dawn.

I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations:

I will sing of you among the peoples. 

For great is your love, higher than the heavens;

your faithfulness reaches to the skies.

Be exalted, O God, above the heavens,

and let your glory be all over the earth.

Today, He reminds me of His love. How can my breath not be taken away by the sweet voice of Jeff Buckley, the sunlight dancing on my floors, and the bright red, fiery leaves...

"And every breath we drew was Hallelujah..." - Jeff Buckley

 

Thanks but No Thanks Pottery Barn

I love eggnog. I love it even more in my coffee. I ran out of half & half so I substituted with eggnog this morning.

Yes, eggnog is in full supply at your local grocery store. When I saw it on the shelf last week I thought I heard music playing and my eyes zeroed in on the half gallon. Some people don't like eggnog. Why? It's dee-lish-us.

Yum. Steaming cup of coffee with eggnog.

Eggnog also reminds me of Christmas. However, I feel much different about this Christmas than I have in years past. I'm disgusted in a way. Disgusted in a way that I want to tear up Christmas displays at stores (think of the image of Jesus overturning tables in the temple courts in disgust of how the temple had been turned into a market John 2:15). Perhaps this is a bit drastic and maybe I can blame it on the six holiday seasons that I worked for a national retailer and getting to hear for months the 4th quarter statistics and goals. While working for a national retailer there were $$ signs in the eyes of every employee and guests were walking doll-uh bills ($$). I don't want to be "preachy", because really, I am just like everyone else. I have gotten wrapped up in giving out of the sake of "giving" and never truly enjoying it. I'm disgusted with myself. I am saddened that I do not know the full meaning of Christmas any more. (Did I ever?)

When someone says the word "Christmas" images of cookies, and Christmas trees, and hot cocoa come to mind. I want to experience Christmas for the wonder that it truly is. This year, I want to understand Christmas on a whole new level. I want to:
1) worship fully
2) spend less and serve more
3) Give more - my time, encouragement (not necessarily gifts)
4) Love all

I have many ideas that I want to do this Christmas since this is the first Christmas that I will be spending with my side of the family since 2005. Not only is it special for that simple fact, but I want to celebrate this Christmas in a radically different way - a way that truly gives God all the glory and honor and changes me from the inside out.

This Christmas I have a few goals:
- In lieu of others giving me gifts, I would prefer those to give to Project Ethiopia. (I will have more information in the next week on how to do so with up-to-date reports on where that money is being spent and who is benefiting from the gift.)
- I will be encouraging others to do the same - to ask for gifts to be given to benefit those who have less. I promise you that you will never regret giving.
- Give meaningful gifts. The gifts I do give away must be handmade by either myself or from a third world artisan who benefits from fair trade.

Will you join me?

My mailbox has been full of magazines from stores who want to pocket my money and take away the real meaning of Christmas. Pottery Barn had this on their front cover:

Give Joyfully - yeah, I plan on it!

"Give Joyfully"

Yep, I plan on doing that this year...just not from the pages of their catalogs or from the shelves of their stores.

I feel like a kid again on Christmas day - the anticipation and excitement is bubbling over with uncovering the true meaning. And you know what? I think it will taste even better than eggnog!

Home.

It's 11am.

I woke up to a cold and gray morning - it started drizzling about an hour ago.

My house is currently 62 degrees and I am too stubborn to turn on the heat, so instead I turn the heater on in my office and aim it directly at me. However, my pup would prefer it be aimed at him.

Silly Rider

It sounds kinda lousy, but I love it. I love how I am bundled in a sweatshirt and get to wear silly socks. I love how I am able to hold a cup of homemade chai in my cold hands. I love how I can make honey bran muffins and eat them when they are still warm from the oven.

Shop local!

Cold days make me appreciate warmth; they make me appreciate home.

Home.

This is something that has been on my mind lately. Where is "home"? Well, home is wherever Matt and I are together, however, we have more news that we may have to pack up once more and make a new "home".  The decisions are big and each one has its advantages and disadvantages.

I read from Philippians 2:19-30 and Paul is talking about sending Timothy to the Philippian church. I stopped at v. 20-21 "I have no one else like him, who takes a genuine interest in your welfare. For everyone looks out for his own interests, not those of Jesus Christ."

For everyone looks out for his own interests, not those of Jesus Christ.

True.

In the midst of facing a huge decision, I still found myself seeking out my own interests, purposefully forgetting to hand over the decision to the One who knows what is best for Matt and me.

Change is such a hard thing to accept. I fight it. You fight it. We fight it. Change is inevitable and, yet, I forget how much good it brings. How even a simple change in the weather (like today) makes me appreciate the sunny days of yesterday or it allows me to appreciate a hot cup of chai that much more.

“This is what I’ve come to believe about change: it’s good, in the way that childbirth is good, and heartbreak is good, and failure is good. By that I mean that it’s incredibly painful, exponentially more so if you fight it, and also that it has the potential to open you up, to open life up, to deliver you right into the palm of God’s hand, which is where you wanted to be all along, except that you were too busy pushing and pulling your life into exactly what you thought it should be.”
~ Shauna Niequist, Bittersweet

Today is a reminder that I am not in control, but I can rest in the one who is. He is my home. He is my one constant in the midst of change. He knows best.